A Rabbit's Tail
by luffyluffy
Summary: It's Valentines Day, and when Russia visit's England, he gets more than he barganed for.


"Alright!" England exclaimed happily, pulling his cookies out of the oven and placing them on a dish. Today, was Valentines Day, and the Englishman, true to form had decided to make cookies, and unlike last years cookies, this years batch was strangely edible. "This batch of cookies looks a little odd from last years.. maybe they aren't cooked enough.." England was about to put them back in the oven, when the doorbell started him. He jogged through his house before pulling the front door open. Russia smiled on the otherside.

"Privyet Angliya!" He said in his thick Russian drawl. "I was doing the wondering if you were home! But you are being home, As I did the thinking, and incase you were home, I did the buying you this, da?" He held out a brown paper bag as he talked. England sighed and took the package.

"Is this—"

"Vodka? Da. Premium."

"Well… Alright then.. Be uhh.. seeing you later Russia.."

England attempted to close the door, but soon found it stuck. He blinked, before slamming the door repeatedly against the thing that was blocking it. Suddenly there was a hand on the frame and the door swung open, the large Russian stepping into the room, swooped low, and then regaining his former hight, towering over the tiny Englishman.

"Now now Angliya… That was not very nice.. doing the smashing of my foot with the door...."

_So that's what was blocking the door…_

"I did the coming all this way.. you do the letting me in, da?"

England shivered and quickly got out of his way, and Russia plodded over to a chair, dumping his entire weight into it.

_Bloody hell, what did I do to get myself into this…?_

He thought angrily, and quickly attempted to calculate what he had done, so it took him a few minutes for the Russian to get his attention.

"--gliya… ANGLIYA!"

England jumped, and turn to him, snapping. "WHAT, WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU DUMB KOLKHOZ?!"

Russia blinked. "I was just doing the wondering.. am I smelling cookies?"

England froze. The kolkhoz bastard was wondering about the cookies?

"Tch.. well… I did make some cookies… W-Would you like one?" Russia jumped up and clapped his hands. "Da da! I am wanting one very much!"

England placed a hand on his hips. "Well, they're in the kitchen!" he said curtly, hiding his utter _joy _behind a scowl, and the Russian barreled excitedly into the kitchen. England plopped into a chair and propped his hand on his fist, scowling harder and harder as the sounds of the ravenous Russian filled the quaint English Townhouse. It seemed an eternity before Russia lumbered back into the living room, like a gigantic bear that had just eaten it's fill before hibernating for the winter. "C-Comrade… I believe… urp.. Oohh.." He stumbled forward, and leaned against the wall, "I should be doing the getting back to Moscow.. d-da?" He swooped for a moment, and England tensed in his chair. Was he going to throw up? The Russian clutched his stomach for a moment, before looking up and burping loudly. England twitched, and fell back into the chair, placing a hand over his eyes.

"Just go already, damn Kolkhoz…"

A week passed before England got a phone call from the Russian. " 'Elo, this is Kirkland… Ehh.. what do you want… Go to Moscow?! But it's cold! But.. BUT… Oh bloody hell, _fine. _I'll catch the next flight in.."

England walked through the snowy Moscow streets, bundled tight by his heavy coat and scarf. He shuffled his way all the way to where Russia lived and quickly stepped inside. The Baltic's greeted him and took his coat, Latvia leading him to where Russia was. "Well, I'm here! What the bloody hell was so important that you had to drag him half way across the bloody planet?" Russia sat up, bundled in a thick blanket. "Before I do the showing.. you are promising not to do the laughing at me da?" England rubbed his temples, migraine forming. "Fine, I promise! Now tell me!"

The sheets dropped back, revealing the Russian in a low V-neck sweater, though England wasn't looking at that… he was much more preoccupied with a different part of the Russian's body. More closely, the bunny ears that were protruding out of the top of his head, colored the same as his dishwater hair. England's mouth fell open and he stepped forward, touching the ears slowly. They were soft, and fluffy, just like a real rabbits. He tugged it gently, and the Russian whimpered, face flushing thick with blush. England took a step back, and pushes himself against the wall. "Comrade.. You need to be getting rid of these.. P-Pulzhasta.." Little tears budded at the corners of his eyes. England sighed, and closed his eyes. "Bloody hell… How did this happen anyway?!"

Russia whimpered, and shook his head, ears bouncing as he did. "I am not knowing.. But Comrade, I can not be staying like this! Mother Russia is not a fluffy bunny!" England racked his hair searching for an answer.. "Maybe… AHH!! T-THE COOKIES!!"

Russia's eyes narrowed dangerously. "What are you talking about Angliya…" England started to pace, walking in circles. "What happened is, my cookies were probably magical! So, if I make a second batch, it should be enough to counteract the…" England froze, finding it hard to not giggle. And he probably would have, if Russia wasn't attempting to set him onfire with his eyes.

The cookies were made, and quickly brought to Russia's room. The Russian stared at the supposed cookies. "Angliya.. I was under the impression I would be eating cookies.. not hocky pucks…"

"TCH! JUST SHUT UP AND EAT, STUPID KOLKHOZ!"

Russia sighed, and took a bite of the disgusting blackened cookie. At the first swallow, the bunny ears seemed to shrink. "AHH! They're working! Eat you Kolkhoz eat! Ahaha!!" Russia scowled, finishing the one he was holding. "Angliya, I would be enjoying it if you would do the stopping calling me that…" But he continued to eat, and the ears continued to strink, until finally they slipped back into his skull. England smiled, happy about his handywork, when the Russian stood up and hugged him tight. "Spasiba Angliya!" England hesitantly hugged him back, when the Russian pulled away and turned to face him. "Now you just need to be dealing with the tail, da?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"


End file.
